People Magazine has a new feature showcasing what celebrities (primarily skinny women) eat in a day. Inspired, here’s my take:

WHAT I EAT IN A DAY

Two bites off of both ends of a pre-mashed banana

Several floor Cheerios (most* of which abide by the five second rule)

An entire roll of breath mints

Three mouthfuls from a baby food pouch of broccoli and peas

One small cup of coffee mixed in an oversized travel mug with two cups of whole milk and a sugar packet (from the bottom of my purse)

A two year old granola bar from the glove compartment

Seventy two flavored seltzer waters (or at least four)

The crusts of a grilled cheese sandwich

One Arrowroot baby cookie (which, by the way, are delicious)

Two slices of mushroom pizza. Three bites warm. Seventeen bites cold after dealing with toddler tantrum.

One generous glass of red wine

And a mega-multivitamin. Of course.